Caught up with the girls I went to Colour 2010 with recently. We're back two weeks and we arrived back from the Sydney Conference buzzing and absolutely pumped. Two weeks on and the regularity of life has taken over and routine has allowed the fire stop blazing but continue to smoulder.
So, what to do? Do we fan the flames by rewatching the videos? Do we settle for a life of mediocrity or has what we learned really had an impact?
I've found I've been bolder in speaking with some people that I have come across. I've had people come in with issues that they think is serious (and in a way it is) but I don't just give the usual spiel but go that step further. I don't know if what I say is any different, better or worse than anyone else. I just have to trust that God will take what He can and use it.
I worked today with one of the guys who has been in my job for nearly 20 years and it was great to see the subtle difference and understanding of a situation based on that experience as opposed to the inexperience of less exposed colleagues. Working alongside someone who has had that exposure is infrequent and welcomed.
The bonus today was having a very good friend and a couple of others whom I knew begin training today so plenty of stuff to look forward to and reminiscing of my starting in my job. No doubt there will be memories sparked by the whole experience so this journey will be interesting.
P
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Shiftwork and sleep deprivation
Well I'm now three shift blocks back in my watch role. That means a set of 7am starts times two and a set of midnight finishes - each block being 3/4 days. So I'm tired.
I'm always tired on the fourth day of earlies. The alarm tends to creep to later and later but not this time around as shuffling different modes of transport meant either having my act together or end up running late - not an option.
So next block, nightshift and my brother is visiting from his home city. I still intend to sleep in my usual nightshift pattern - get home and straight to bed and by 9am snoozing. I usually wake then around 4-5pm and am up for the evening before heading out to work. Mind you I haven't done nightshift in nearly a year so it will be interesting to say the least.
My husband seems to hate that I get tired and takes it personally if I don't pay him as much attention as I begin to function on a fairly basic level - do what's required to get by and no more in the effort to conserve energy. I guess it's hard not to take things personally but it's funny how the kids seem to be much more accepting of the little attention and cut me slack and accept me for where I'm at.
It's all an adjustment again and hopefully I'm as adaptable as I thought I was. It's times like this that I think studying for a degree is just too much, maybe I should stick with the internal promotional structure. We'll wait and see tho...
P
I'm always tired on the fourth day of earlies. The alarm tends to creep to later and later but not this time around as shuffling different modes of transport meant either having my act together or end up running late - not an option.
So next block, nightshift and my brother is visiting from his home city. I still intend to sleep in my usual nightshift pattern - get home and straight to bed and by 9am snoozing. I usually wake then around 4-5pm and am up for the evening before heading out to work. Mind you I haven't done nightshift in nearly a year so it will be interesting to say the least.
My husband seems to hate that I get tired and takes it personally if I don't pay him as much attention as I begin to function on a fairly basic level - do what's required to get by and no more in the effort to conserve energy. I guess it's hard not to take things personally but it's funny how the kids seem to be much more accepting of the little attention and cut me slack and accept me for where I'm at.
It's all an adjustment again and hopefully I'm as adaptable as I thought I was. It's times like this that I think studying for a degree is just too much, maybe I should stick with the internal promotional structure. We'll wait and see tho...
P
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Further Study
Hmm, to return to university or not...
Colour Conference had a speaker, Dr Robi Sonderegger, a neuro psychologist. A funny, real, man, dad, clinical psychologist, excellent speaker and someone whom I could really relate to.
I wonder if God is stirring something in me, something that has been festering for SO long. When my #3 son was expected I went to a pre-uni degree in Psychology and Sociology - there were a couple of other subjects thrown in but they were two...
I didn't follow on with study because I'd two small kids at home, another on the way and we needed the money I could have been earning instead of studying with... I also felt that if I did Sociology I would become an anarchist and very anti government and if I did Psychology I'd become a nutcase! lol
So anyway, I've always had an interest in people, in how they work, how they think, learn, grow. In a way it's as if I don't have enough to keep my brain busy and want more from life. Then with Robi talking it sparked it as well as chatting with a friend of mine on facebook and in a way I can only counsel so much on my own and can only know so little on my own. Maybe I need to get more than just that...
So I have an opportunity to study. I have credits from courses done in work and can circumvent some of the more useless topics. Mind you I work full time in shift work and wonder how I'd fit it all in - even taking it part time, which of course is how it would have to be.
So, thinking Psychology again. Wondering how it all works in with work and where it would take me. I have time to do it I hope and not have to rush any decisions. The uni website said minium 2 years maximum 9. I've wasted two of the years since starting, but maybe it'll still work out...
Anyway, time to pray, prepare and allow God to fester the idea and plan to spend the money on the courses. Maybe now is the time to prepare for a huge step in a few years... Bring it on and watch this space!
Colour Conference had a speaker, Dr Robi Sonderegger, a neuro psychologist. A funny, real, man, dad, clinical psychologist, excellent speaker and someone whom I could really relate to.
I wonder if God is stirring something in me, something that has been festering for SO long. When my #3 son was expected I went to a pre-uni degree in Psychology and Sociology - there were a couple of other subjects thrown in but they were two...
I didn't follow on with study because I'd two small kids at home, another on the way and we needed the money I could have been earning instead of studying with... I also felt that if I did Sociology I would become an anarchist and very anti government and if I did Psychology I'd become a nutcase! lol
So anyway, I've always had an interest in people, in how they work, how they think, learn, grow. In a way it's as if I don't have enough to keep my brain busy and want more from life. Then with Robi talking it sparked it as well as chatting with a friend of mine on facebook and in a way I can only counsel so much on my own and can only know so little on my own. Maybe I need to get more than just that...
So I have an opportunity to study. I have credits from courses done in work and can circumvent some of the more useless topics. Mind you I work full time in shift work and wonder how I'd fit it all in - even taking it part time, which of course is how it would have to be.
So, thinking Psychology again. Wondering how it all works in with work and where it would take me. I have time to do it I hope and not have to rush any decisions. The uni website said minium 2 years maximum 9. I've wasted two of the years since starting, but maybe it'll still work out...
Anyway, time to pray, prepare and allow God to fester the idea and plan to spend the money on the courses. Maybe now is the time to prepare for a huge step in a few years... Bring it on and watch this space!
Prayer Warrior
I've been given the nickname by a friend after being asked by their partner to pray for a specific incident. Well they unleashed a storm when they asked me and I then sought God as to what He wanted the direction to take.
They said 'what have they awakened?' I said nothing, they 'just stirred up the beast!' lol As I responded I said that the enemy should know that by knowing me they shouldn't pick on my family!
So, warfare - of a spiritual kind... tricky neighbourhood to be in at times but when you have a big God on your side and the Bible for the words to use it gets SO much easier. More often than not we are just asked to stand too because the fight has been fought by Jesus and won by Him. Can't get much easier than that. I'm not quite sure how that kind of strategy would work in the natural but it would certainly spook the enemy to see an assured enemy standing. I guess they wouldn't know what to expect...
So I've earned a nickname, 'PW' - it'll take some time to grow on me as it doesn't quite roll off the tongue like my cyber nickname but as it stands for Prayer Warrior I'll accept that. Let's just see where it settles, if it does settle...
They said 'what have they awakened?' I said nothing, they 'just stirred up the beast!' lol As I responded I said that the enemy should know that by knowing me they shouldn't pick on my family!
So, warfare - of a spiritual kind... tricky neighbourhood to be in at times but when you have a big God on your side and the Bible for the words to use it gets SO much easier. More often than not we are just asked to stand too because the fight has been fought by Jesus and won by Him. Can't get much easier than that. I'm not quite sure how that kind of strategy would work in the natural but it would certainly spook the enemy to see an assured enemy standing. I guess they wouldn't know what to expect...
So I've earned a nickname, 'PW' - it'll take some time to grow on me as it doesn't quite roll off the tongue like my cyber nickname but as it stands for Prayer Warrior I'll accept that. Let's just see where it settles, if it does settle...
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Ah Pooh
Well day two back in my regular work - it's been a break of nearly 8 months and before that it was a break of 3 months. So broken in gently, hmmm
So a nice mixed bag again, walking around feeling like I know none of the usual suspects. It seems to have been the stalkers day out today with numerous queries and I felt more like a counsellor than anything else. I'm sure the people calling to chat about their situation weren't quite expecting that kind of response either.
And to top off the afternoon a job I wasn't even directly involved in seems to have had the greatest effect. In a negative way... On my ride home I was pondering 'do I share this at home?' and I found myself not riding aggressively but certainly not my usual light cruise on the bike as I tore up wanting to somehow go flat out but not wanting to die recklessly in the process...
So, I get home and Jellybean senses my mood as does the hubby. I get a much needed hug and the suggestion of a walk to clear my head is accepted - great! When I did share the day it wasn't as daunting as I believed and was even told that he'd heard more today than he had in the last 8 months in my misplaced position. My unloading wasn't unappreciated and I guess it just released the pressure that may have otherwise built up.
It was so tempting to talk to someone else who would 'get it' but that wouldn't build my relationship in the right way either, so it's all good in the end and I have this blog to untangle the knots.
It's odd but in this aspect I still have to use a play on words and hope that one day I can decipher the play if I even needed to.
What would I encourage another to do in this situation? Talk to someone - talk it out, give it to God, put on praise and worship music and let it go.
On the flip side I have returned home from my walk to have a message from a friend asking for much needed prayer. Not necessarily something I would have expected from this person and a request that I feel somewhat overwhelmed in and on the otherhand well able to handle. Not just because I know this person, their request but more importantly I know our Daddy. Daddy that I can run to and tell Him that my bro' is in a situation where they have called in the troops for support and support I will do.
If nothing else having been to Colour I have had confirmed that prayer is not futile. If all else fails then prayer is still a powerful weapon with which Christians can fight. We do not fight against flesh and blood but against spirit. In saying that the enemy - Satan, his cohorts and the world - fights against us with darts and weapons that do hit our flesh or discourage us somehow.
I'm certainly no expert on spiritual warfare and don't want to give more credit that is due but I believe that I understand the subtleties of all of this. The long held story of people who work in money forgery do so from the point of being able to spot a fake banknote because they know the real banknote so intimately.
As one of the Colour girls said last week - if they have two choices that is ahead of them they know for certain that the God choice is the one they are most fearful of. I guess in that fear - the beyondness of self is that part of us that we excel in because God is so fully relied on in that moment. For me it's a good moment - there is a thrill living on the edge of the precipice but knowing that it's the centre of God's will.
Hmm... talk about a mixed bag of head chatter, talking in riddles and covering a multitude of topics.
Well I guess if you survived this post you're doing well! lol
In a way I feel unresolved in my thoughts - keen to speak to my friend who called the reinforcements in on, keen to speak to another friend about how they are doing, keen to have another latte and keen to head to bed for another early start in the morning for a long day ahead of me. So the brain is buzzing around a little and again, I have a place to rest it - in God's hands. Because He is able and He can do it where I cannot. He also knows how this all plays out and I am growing in my trust in Him so I can let it go and give it up - again and again each time I pick it back up each time in my own human effort.
So here God - take my fears, hopes, dreams and people whom I love in this life that You have blessed me with and shelter them and I in Your hiding place. You are able where I am not...
So a nice mixed bag again, walking around feeling like I know none of the usual suspects. It seems to have been the stalkers day out today with numerous queries and I felt more like a counsellor than anything else. I'm sure the people calling to chat about their situation weren't quite expecting that kind of response either.
And to top off the afternoon a job I wasn't even directly involved in seems to have had the greatest effect. In a negative way... On my ride home I was pondering 'do I share this at home?' and I found myself not riding aggressively but certainly not my usual light cruise on the bike as I tore up wanting to somehow go flat out but not wanting to die recklessly in the process...
So, I get home and Jellybean senses my mood as does the hubby. I get a much needed hug and the suggestion of a walk to clear my head is accepted - great! When I did share the day it wasn't as daunting as I believed and was even told that he'd heard more today than he had in the last 8 months in my misplaced position. My unloading wasn't unappreciated and I guess it just released the pressure that may have otherwise built up.
It was so tempting to talk to someone else who would 'get it' but that wouldn't build my relationship in the right way either, so it's all good in the end and I have this blog to untangle the knots.
It's odd but in this aspect I still have to use a play on words and hope that one day I can decipher the play if I even needed to.
What would I encourage another to do in this situation? Talk to someone - talk it out, give it to God, put on praise and worship music and let it go.
On the flip side I have returned home from my walk to have a message from a friend asking for much needed prayer. Not necessarily something I would have expected from this person and a request that I feel somewhat overwhelmed in and on the otherhand well able to handle. Not just because I know this person, their request but more importantly I know our Daddy. Daddy that I can run to and tell Him that my bro' is in a situation where they have called in the troops for support and support I will do.
If nothing else having been to Colour I have had confirmed that prayer is not futile. If all else fails then prayer is still a powerful weapon with which Christians can fight. We do not fight against flesh and blood but against spirit. In saying that the enemy - Satan, his cohorts and the world - fights against us with darts and weapons that do hit our flesh or discourage us somehow.
I'm certainly no expert on spiritual warfare and don't want to give more credit that is due but I believe that I understand the subtleties of all of this. The long held story of people who work in money forgery do so from the point of being able to spot a fake banknote because they know the real banknote so intimately.
As one of the Colour girls said last week - if they have two choices that is ahead of them they know for certain that the God choice is the one they are most fearful of. I guess in that fear - the beyondness of self is that part of us that we excel in because God is so fully relied on in that moment. For me it's a good moment - there is a thrill living on the edge of the precipice but knowing that it's the centre of God's will.
Hmm... talk about a mixed bag of head chatter, talking in riddles and covering a multitude of topics.
Well I guess if you survived this post you're doing well! lol
In a way I feel unresolved in my thoughts - keen to speak to my friend who called the reinforcements in on, keen to speak to another friend about how they are doing, keen to have another latte and keen to head to bed for another early start in the morning for a long day ahead of me. So the brain is buzzing around a little and again, I have a place to rest it - in God's hands. Because He is able and He can do it where I cannot. He also knows how this all plays out and I am growing in my trust in Him so I can let it go and give it up - again and again each time I pick it back up each time in my own human effort.
So here God - take my fears, hopes, dreams and people whom I love in this life that You have blessed me with and shelter them and I in Your hiding place. You are able where I am not...
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Starting off Godchick on Watch
Well it's my first time blogging my own blog but not my first time on the net in some shape or form.
A friend of mine met me for coffee in a nearby cafe after returning from Colour Conference 2010 and repeated that I should blog - that I needed to journal and get out what was inside and share it around.
So, here's a start... anonymous for now and expectant for this blog to be more God centred that me-centred. It's going to be a journey into my mind, spirit and soul. It's going to be a journey into hopes, fears, disappointments and ponderings of this particularly odd mind.
You will never know where this will go just as I have no idea where God will take me on this journey. If at some stage I write about people I will try and conceal their identity as I would any confidante. If at some stage you read about yourself (because I have trusted you with my heart, mind and soul) then don't take offence as I try to sort through feelings or experiences.
So, come on this journey with me and let's see where it goes.
A friend of mine met me for coffee in a nearby cafe after returning from Colour Conference 2010 and repeated that I should blog - that I needed to journal and get out what was inside and share it around.
So, here's a start... anonymous for now and expectant for this blog to be more God centred that me-centred. It's going to be a journey into my mind, spirit and soul. It's going to be a journey into hopes, fears, disappointments and ponderings of this particularly odd mind.
You will never know where this will go just as I have no idea where God will take me on this journey. If at some stage I write about people I will try and conceal their identity as I would any confidante. If at some stage you read about yourself (because I have trusted you with my heart, mind and soul) then don't take offence as I try to sort through feelings or experiences.
So, come on this journey with me and let's see where it goes.
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